Monday, December 29, 2008

Oh my new year

because i am a year
older now,
i have to pull my
laptop closer
to my face in
order to read
your poems.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Good Riddence Bad Sword

A specialist was introduced to me last night by way of a glowing group with whom I work. She was covered by a thick, winsome blue like that of the china plate I borrowed from a former employer. My reluctance was strong at the beginning and I needed much reassurance from my regular pals in order to allow her to start working on me. I even made her start while I was on my side before allowing her access to my vulnerable top side. This specialist was planning on removing my past in pieces. She dug into me tossing out chunks of lives still affecting my present life. As the almost tangible wreckage spattered against the mirror next to my bed they shattered into light particles, dissolving into the never- existing, existed, to exist. The process involved me viewing, reliving these snippets of past while they were being dislodged. Past life memory for me has always been gray so the intensity of this situation frightened me at moments. The reason for her color was to soothe me. She blanketed me, really cocooned me into a state of hyper-presence. This was to be the last time to experience these events that clogged my energetic arteries so I best be awake for them. At one point I watched a sword being drawn out of my husbands back. I wasn't sure if I was the girl in the picture or the horse. My specialist was not there to answer questions so I let it go. The rest of the pictures I relived are gone for good now. Perhaps the sword image is remembered so I could tell Joe about it, which I have done. My specialist came and went with few words. I do know that I can expect her back at some point because before leaving she said, "that's it for now." I must have fallen asleep suddenly because the next thing that happened was that I woke up and Joe was beside me asleep. It was one of those experiences where the events seemed to skip though time.

Friday, December 19, 2008

New Candles!

Well, I didn't design the rainbow, but I did pour it into a candle jar :) I love it!
The scent is Snozzberry (of course). There is a link to this down, down, down on the left side of this blog. :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Did I ever tell you that I love shoes...and sequins?

link to bigger pics

Miu Miu, the 'fun and quirky' line designed by Miuccia Prada has been my favorite for years. It combines the luxury of Prada but with a fun and colorful twist. A few times per year I hunt the local DSW (designer shoe warehouse) for some clearance rack Miu Miu shoes. They have become harder to come by lately, but these!!! I asked my husband if we really need to pay the rent next month, but he said we do. Oh well, I can always dream. I am a late bloomer when it comes to shoe loving. My sister became a convert after I kept dragging her to all the shoe stores in the area and she found a very floral pair of Isaac Mizrahi pumps. Now we go to DSW together and spend hours walking the aisles.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Birthdates briefly examined by a machine

I like these things...birthdate meanings, names, zodiac stuff. It's all very interesting and usually pretty spot on for me. (There's a link at the bottom to do your birthday.) One funny thing about this is my power color, pink (they call it rose) is the only color I don't like. Maybe I should do an experiment and wear pink to see what happens. :)- In seventh or eigth grade I dyed my hair with fruit punch cool-aid hoping to get red hair. It came out pink and I had a perm at the time (ahhh!) so I wore a hat for a month until it washed out. I have a picture of that somewhere, I should find it. It's pretty hysterical!

You Are a Visionary

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you.

Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first.

You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world.

An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be.

Your strength: Your intuition

Your weakness: You put yourself last

Your power color: Rose

Your power symbol: Cloud

Your power month: June

No Railing

There's something missing
but I ignore it
like a staircase with
no railing
I reach for it
but I don't fall down
when it's not there
my hand just falls
to my side
and I walk up to the top

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sephyrus Press made it to The New Yorker (even if only in passing)

December 9, 2008
Literary Smackdown Revisited
The Literary Trivia Smackdown 2.0, which pitted PEN vs. Lit Bloggers, was the ultimate event at the Twenty-first Annual Indie and Small Press Book Fair this past weekend. And a lively literary contest it was, nimbly emceed by the ironically tuxedoed and erudite author Tim W. Brown. PEN won, 16-13, I think, but I’m not entirely sure; making our way around nearly a hundred and fifty literature-strewn tables of indie presses—whose names reminded me at times of a flock of unruly reindeer: Archipelago, Dream Weaver, Fractious, Leapfrog, Luminus, Olympia, Persea, Rainbow Star, Sephyrus, Whirlwind, Windspur, just to name a few—was so dizzying in its multiplicity that a New Yorker colleague and I had to pop across the street to a Greek taverna for fortification.

The questions came hard and fast, and were of such graduate-school caliber—the name of Don DeLillo’s only play or Washington Irving’s house or the author of the first slave narrative—that not even the lifelines to audience and adjudicator helped the impressive contestants. We were, all in all, relieved that the Book Bench bloggers hadn’t been asked to participate. Nonetheless, there was one question neither team got that my less-addled colleague did: what writer was the inspiration for the Brandy Alexander? The Lit Bloggers suggested Alexander Pope; PEN parried with Alexandre Dumas (or perhaps it was the other way around). The answer: the New Yorker writer and Round Tablist Alexander Woollcott.

Except that, on sober reflection, this seems to be just another apocryphal urban legend, signifying sound and fury, at least if the Brandy Alexander entry on Wikepedia (which may prove to be the future of publishing) is to be believed. Therein we are told:“Drama critic/celebrity Alexander Woollcott was very fond of this drink, and he encouraged the assumption that it was named after him. (The actual origin of the drink’s name is unknown.)”

In the literary smackdown’s wake, another colleague and I ventured a couple of blocks west to do some literary slurping, I mean sleuthing, at the Algonquin. For those at home interested in keeping up with literary tradition, here is a recipe for the immortally named concoction, whomever the hell it’s named after:

May we suggest a revised question for Literary Trivia Smackdown 3.0: what chocolatey cocktail is one of the main characters in Chuck Palahniuk’s novel “Invisible Monsters” named after?

Posted by Vicky RaabIn
The Book Bench
| Literary Smackdown

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Wanna come to my party?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): It's an ideal time for you to throw a party for
all the people you've ever been and all the different selves who live within
you now. Invite the teenager who once seethed with frustrated potential
and the four-year-old who loved nothing more than to play. Include the
hopeful complainer who stands in the shadows and dares you to ask for
more, as well as the brave hero who comes out every now and then to
attempt seemingly impossible feats of happiness. Don't forget any of the
various personalities who have contributed to making you who you are.
Celebrate your internal diversity. Marvel at how good you are at changing.

to read your own, visit

Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I have to many personas. Some people experience more of one than the other. It's not something I prepare for- just happens that way. Thanks for understanding! To reward you all for putting up with all the "mes" I really should have a party :)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Sunday day, day day night

double tipped m&m.
welcomed into my mouth.
peanut butter mastication.

letulip ego wonderland

greetings my friend to
my keyboard. your
beauty is held in our

enthusiasm and overwhelmingness
is what I have to offer. take
it as it be. i mean not to scare
you! how silly, really? I'm
not scary. I'm for you. and everyone
and no one all. i can disappear. have and will

the dead are obvious. they know
what we will respond to. we are
the dense ones, wanting not to
see them. our lives are not
separate from theirs. we all
live in the same place. no place.
we made it all up a long time ago.
and we will be far from here once more.
earth II is already done. being tested
as I type. but earth II exists.
it all does. we made it so. and
are making it not so.

we should visit other places.
be the fish and rocks. vacation

learn from inanimate objects. we
created them. don't throw them
away. they speak as we do.

boxy knows. just ask him.

we leave layers behind. shadows and
fingerprints. can you find your trail?
walk in a circle and trace your steps.
what did you say to yourself the
second time 'round? you'll know.

living is adventure. so much
more than we know.

my smile shows it. i like seeing
you. and it and nothing. i have
never seen nothing. it does not
exist. gray, clouds, magic.

i'll see you. and you'll

Friday, December 5, 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hittin' the book fair - check it

Come see Sappho Does Hay(na)ku in the Co-op room at the Indie Book Fair. I'll be there checking out the books and the free workshops and readings. Should be a great time! Anyone wishing to carpool (train-style) can email me.

Inter section

when the lines don't cross
the lines cross and you doubt it
guessing crossing lines

I got laid off

Monday, November 17, 2008


Where did the beauty go? Did time forget to grab its hand? Under that floor. Asleep for years now. It's not peeking anymore. I need to catch up with it. Sprint for it. Down south. Where the sun warms it to speed and the water cools it to stay.


Green ivy grows
over-top my

shade me
from what's beyond



Plastic wood grained

With sleeves

Touching type


Back slashed
All hell
Suck it


At lost you


Whole mouthed

Indecisive jargon
Belly buckets


Green lawn

Yellow bud
Orange papers wrapping

Giant petal
Yellow wrapped
Twelve pieces of dirt

Mauve carpet
Long stemmed
Roped interior
With stain guard


Stair case
Hollow wall
Sheetrock cereal

Climbing wall
Rock slide
Mud room


Golden lawn


Aged cheese
Italian bistro


Fly away
Birds in


Pastel paisley


Books with words
Authors, paintings,


Musceled up

Slender pointer
Finger sweater


Say it
Say it
With your tongue
Say it

Work stuff
Work shit
Old shit
Old hat


From france
Of france
Of me
Of you
Me to
Go to


Friday, November 14, 2008

Book News

Sappho Does Hay(na)ku now has a review posted on its amazon page.

The book will also appear on the Co-op table at the 21st Annual New York City Independent Publisher and Small Press Book Fair. It runs the weekend of December 6 & 7 in midtown Manhattan. Check it out and hope to see you there!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Gnat and Spider

Seaweed soap with 43 trace minerals and it's dark brown. Moldy ceiling, dotted. Pine sol isn't going to kill the mold. You have to use bleach for that. I'm not a gnat anymore and I never will be again. I always look up to make sure that daddy long legs isn't above me or in the corner of the shower. When it gets steamy in the bathroom he likes to stretch and move around. Taunting me...daring me to shut my eyes and rinse my hair. Bigger, fuzzier spiders don't bother me as much as he does. But I am not a gnat. He cannot even penetrate my outer layer of skin with his tiny row of teeth. He is still there and comes back even after Joe kills him for me. Yet, he is disgusted with moisture. He'll move into the center of the shower, perched above my head until I run out with soap in my hair. As I write this in my mind while watching the spider in the corner, jiggling on his web a gnat bites my stomach. To remind me that I am not him. The bite leaves a pin-hole sized lump and a quarter sized red circle around it. Annoyingly itchy but not nearly the size of my human figure. My figure is aging and uneven in color. That spider can't know how he looks and neither can the gnat. New hairs, clippings, teeth cleanings. No gnat, no spider.

Feeling New

I said no
to the

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Vacation in a dream

We were going to meet up in New Orleans so I could visit with my best friend. So there was a plane ride and an airport. Dreams are funny, because they can say nothing at all or spell out your whole life. I've never been good at interpreting them. On many occasions my whole family has died in dreams. I don't think I've ever died. I probably would have remembered that. I remember the first time I went to a meditation class and the host grounded us all as preparation for the evening. I sank three feet into the couch. It felt just like when I was 10 and before falling asleep I would sink down into my bed. I remarked to the teacher about what I felt and she said I must be a floater. Always half in and half out of my body. That is the first time I heard that expression and it seems to fit me even today.


My house is once again a candle factory. I lost most of my enthusiasm for the candles the last few months. Now it's back and has taken over. :) I try not to force myself to do things I don't enjoy, but I am sincerely glad that I'm back in the mood for this. Hear's to doing things you love...

Monday, November 3, 2008

You touched me

You touched my hair while I was in the shower. You cupped my head from behind with your big hand, just slightly. Just enough to let me know you were there. I don't think you realized where I was at the time. You're not the kind of person to intrude like that. You must be at your computer, yes. That's what I saw when I asked you what you were doing. Writing about me, I suppose. Although flattered, like always, I wonder why we are starting this again. What is the purpose of this? Does it really further any cause or add any greatness to our endeavors? I think we are just postponing our own lives. Another way to procrastinate. "Can I at least see it?" I asked. You said yes. So where is it?

But then I realized that it wasn't you. Someone is impersonating you in the fog. Tricky of whoever it is...they must have been spying on me for some time now. I knew it when it sat on the bed. You would never do that. I thought that I would be dissapointed when it sank in that you weren't around. I really didn't mind the intrusion. I am relieved, though. We are done with the foolery. And now on to the real things.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Ms. Witch wants to see your halloween costumes

Jen did a great job painting my pants, thanks Jen :)-

Punker Raquelle and Water Nymph Jen rock the Halloween scene.

Ms. Witch here, and I want to see your halloween costumes. You can email them to me and I will post them here. Funny things relating to halloween and past costumes are also acceptable. Rachel is still deciding, but I'll put up her picture when she gets her ass in gear. Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 27, 2008


It burns here.
Under the

That sand is
yellow and

It's telling me
to be

Hold your breath
and listen.

It's lost on me

Your demeanor does
not shine

clouds. No
calendar scene with

sun rays illuminating
treetop foliage.

filled with
mounded moss is

all I've to
examine. It's

here- shadowed,
even at noon.

I won't assume.
This silent

which lingers
on the edge

of the field,
I can

Sunday, October 26, 2008


what makes you so terrified of going home this evening?

I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. They TOLD me that. She eats two cheeseburgers for breakfast. Every morning! She drinks coffee and never cleans the house. She's awful and I don't want to go home.

I: None of these things seem very frightening to me, can you maybe take a minute to think about why these are scaring you?

Tom: I guess

I; Great

T: There's food on the floor, not whole foods, but chunks of bagels and squiggles of cooked hamburger near the stove. I think we have mice and cockroaches. It's disgusting. And she's addicted to the coffee, addicted! Isn't that why I am here? The cheeseburgers are ok I guess, but it doesn't seem healthy. I mean, she wants me to be healthy and she's eating that shit in the morning.

I- I understand more now what is making you agitated. Let's just sit with these feelings for a moment. Really let yourself feel the hostility. It won't harm you, I'm right here. Let's give it a try.

T; Whatever [closes eyes, still squirming]

Oh, this is ridiculous. It never ends up how I imagine anyway. I'm making an appointment and writing this all down. I can NEVER get my words out, dammit! I fucking suck. Maybe they'll keep me. Don't make me go home. I don't want to go home.. They can't make me go home!

[dials 0 on the telephone]

nurse: Hello Tom, what can I do for you?

I need to see Dr. Nostrund.

Nurse: You can see him at your appointment in the morning, 9am, remember?

I have to see him now! Please!

Nurse: Tom, it's four o'clock in the morning. Please go to sleep.

Fucking Bitch. [slams the phone down]

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen

what makes you so terrified of going home this evening?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Through the windshield

I've seen some remarkable things this week on my way home from work. I'll start with Wednesday because today's story is way more fun.

I was traveling a different route so I could avoid the traffic on the highway. I took route 302 which goes through some more rural areas of CT. Passing by a corn field which looked a bit wilted due to the recent frosts, I noticed something up in the corner. There was a scarecrow there, but about 30 feet from that was an american flag on a pole only about 3 feet above the corn horizon. The flag and pole looked hunched over and wilted like the corn. I thought this was a great metaphor for the country. So much so that I wondered if the farmer had posted this as a sort of corn-art installation.

OK, today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wait for it.......wait for it!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I saw something I've NEVER seen before, ever!
I saw a hot air balloon flying over the highway!!!!! It was red, burgundy and blue! It was so close I could even make out the shape of the basket. It made me very aware of the other cars surrounding mine because with something SO cool over the road, I figured at least someone would rear-end another. But nope, we all made it home safe! Sorry for all the drama, but this was really great. What a bright spot to a cold week. hooowaaaaaaaaah and whoop whoop. :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Alla y'alls holla ja

You are a god.
THEEE god. With a
Lowercase G.
By far, the shining
Example of g.
Emanations of pure
Bliss commin' outa ya.


Armor off. Retired.
Slink out of body,
Bodyless enjoyment.
Landed. Structure.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

oh, Love

I know the word love has so many different
connotations, that to use it means pretty
much nothing. And from what I hear,
this new world we are about to be living
in- a new word will emerge. Although
a new word may not be necessary. I am
not talking about us all dying off and being
transported to another dimension, that is
probably for a much later date, although I
really know nothing at all of what is
going to happen. Just feelings that I
get. Love will be a constant in most
people's lives. Love will be for everyone
not just for those to whom we profess
it in a ceremony used to mark tax status
and to show off or show under our wealth.
Love is undeniable, it's what makes us live.
Our bodies are seriously running on it.
Our 'heart' cannot live with out it. And who
would want to? We'll share ourselves so
much more. It's already started. I read about
confessional poetry today, and from what I
understand, those guys and gals really
understood. Get it all out, baby. Lay it on me.
Truth and love are the same. It's really the only
truth we can feel. That's it, just love.

Rachel Lyn Andrews - (which makes me a human being, writing my name makes me feel vulnerable.) This post could be so much better, but I am really late on getting a drawing made for someone and I watched gossip girl tonight which killed a whole lotta time.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

blue scribbles

I close my eyes and
see blue scribbled shoulder
falsley drawn eyes.
If this is the end-
What am I saying?
textured duvet, shower
washing femininity.
I am a woman
I need this silky hair.
light reflecting, dyed ends.
Golden hues of plenty
of sun rays. Bright green
eyes. So how's it that
I got so caught up? So
obvious and not ended
this sooner.
I am that little girl
standing in the parking
forgotten about with missed
guitar lessons.
Learn that song.
Underlined, italicized and red.
Grossly in the head.
Heart flannel pyjamas
with sky blue slippers.

to myself

i don't have all that much time left
exhale slowly, that candle smells just good enough
and these drawings suck
if i can capture your essence why not
this one, but fiona apple sings
she can't be denied her ocean

Response to 'About the Dildos'

The dildos are smart to say that angels are thread fuckers and human beings are thread parasites. When the two are combined it gets even messier. The angel in the human wants to continue meddling with other humans and bring about personal thread perfection and alignment but the human part always messes things up. The angel part has all access rights to the akashic records which is a terrible idea for a partly human animal. The two halves fight over this information. They get confused and assume too much about the other humans. The worst part actually, is when the angel part goes unacknowleged by the human part. That's where the biggest thread fucking happens and leaves the door wide open for the thread parasite to take over. God Bless the dildos and their wholesome, patriotic work.

BTW- The angels sharing space with humans do apologize for all the thread fucking going on. It's hard to stop being an angel when there is so much work to be done.


missing lives
why do you come back?

woke up

faced, armpit
sore, ankle chilled

tired. Art
show dreading day.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


In bed under rainbow
autumn leaves wind
don't throw
your dead at me.
turn around

Friday, October 17, 2008


What kind of food does it take to make this go away...throw a stick at it or something.

This day

The light reflections
make it better.

So young.
So China Doll.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Today's Drawing


What are the wonders of colliding with your protrusion?
I'll never know.

At Work

The drawings were made on post-it notes. I kept having to hide them when I heard someone walk over to my desk :)


They're just trees, evergreen trees. They make a funny picture when you
look through the needles to the other side. I got stuck in one at my
grandma's house. I could climb high, but never get down.


We made love in a shallow stream. The current submitted to our
disruption. Laughing, it said, "why not view the fish from above?"


Stuck Shoe
The siren snarled it's way to my mother. Kate's bike flashed sun rays
in children's eyes. We didn't have cell phones in those days.


I'm not a poet or a painter, just a simple glow, a flash. You'll
remember me as being temporary. I smile, turn my head away from you and
I'm gone.


The copier sounds like a Gerbil today.


Distaste for,
"what now?"
Distaste for that bit underneath which sticks. To the ribs. Scraping,
even with a chisel, it won't be unstuck.


Where am I?
Right here.
Typing at my keyboard.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I'm Serving You

You Got Served is on BET right now. It's a movie about street dance crews & the daily life in the 'hood. Someone gets shot, there is romance drama and of course...lots of dancing! It's not the best dance movie by any means, but it does offer great shots of rehearsals and competitions of dance crews. I love all dance movies and performances. But I guess street dancing particularly intrigues me because I can relate to their art. I'm kind of a street artist. Y'all can be in my crew. We'll do flips off each other's backs and do head spins on cardboard squares. We'll shout out improv poetry and squirt paint onto walls from mustard bottles. It'll be off the chain, holla! Woohoo for bad dance movies!

BTW - A GREAT dance movie is The Red Shoes.

Monday, October 13, 2008

desireful day

what is up with today?
A few months ago I started writing a poem, a sexy little poem...that went terribly wrong. I don't think it is in my capacity to write that sort of thing while actually using descriptive language to let you know what it's about. Maybe so, maybe not. But it didn't go well. Anyway, I did have a cool line. I want to share it so if any of you awesome poets want to use it you can...
unkempt seated jeans
there it is. It might be cool to see what you can do with it. Post a poem in the comments if you feel up to it :)

I am listening to C & C music factory right now, and it is not helping to wane this sexed up, sexless day. They are moaning as I type...Goodness! Somebody throw me a bone. (oh, no she dit'nt)

Goddammitgirl- Check yo'self (hiding)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Who are these people?

More oil paintings tonight. Flash photography, I'm afraid. 1st one on canvas 24x24 inches. 2nd one on glass (the white is paper behind the glass in the frame)

He, He, Hello-o

What's up buttercup?
All those hags...
Imitate a cat puking.
.......bleh, bluh

My second favorite movie of all time, Party Girl. I dressed up as Parker Posey's character in this movie, the party scene where she's dressed in the blue silk top, for Halloween a few years ago. It was great. So much fun is depicted in this movie - the 90's fashion of neon layering and chunky platform shoes. Green haired club kids and even leather sweatheart-neckline dresses. I love it all! You don't see much of that around here anymore. I went to a club in New York City last year and I was in heaven. I thought I went back in time... Oh me, oh my just give me the freaks.

Friday, October 10, 2008

7 Letters

In keeping with the WCW theme of the day, enjoy some correspondence between Creeley, Williams, Robert Duncan, Denise Levertov, and Tom Raworth.


where does my smoke go when I exhale
and why do you always know what will
make me smile? The grievance I have
with my Grandfather is inside of me.
Unreality then harshness. Brutal.
My honesty cuts through. Abstract.
Relief of senses and intimacy.
We have an immature relationship.
Just telling you about me,
I am tearing myself apart. You
should be asking me. It's all
in my mind. I am mad. What is
your real name and why do I know
you so well? Don't you want to
know? Why won't you let me tell
you? Just look at me and ask.
Always caught between myself.
Which should I be right now?
Eyes change dark to flourescent
every day. Every day, Every day.
Singularity, clarity, few.
You know there is no influencer
now? I threw it in the trash.
Folded in two. Like midnight
they came and went. Illuminated
and space. Onto your ciggarrettes.
Lost at darkness, not. Better
able to see with the eyes open.
Your floating, peeping in, I like.
Would love to see you more. You
looked small today, shocked. I
could kiss you. Would kiss you.
Want to. None better time than
in spirit. But not again, this
mix of real. Which one is it?
Romanced by something I can't
understand. Now that interference
is immaterial. Shouting, louder.
Me, on me, myself, who now?
Getting there. Paint a picture.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


What is the point where you stop everything and do what you want to do. Why do we always have to wait? There have been several times in my life when I have given it all up to start fresh. So many times, in fact, that I figured I was addicted to 'starting over' rather than simply beginning again on the correct path. But setting compulsive corrective steering aside, what are we waiting for? Are there SO many life lessons to learn before we get to that 'happy place?' Are there energy blocks and karmic matters and fate to deal with first? Or is that a bunch of hooey designed to appease our humanistic, pessimistic, egoic conditioning? I could always be 'more me.' I could always be better at what I do... I don't think that I have to achieve anything to fulfill my desired life. And I know that the real key to success is being it, having it now, etc. So if that is so, why can't I wake up tomorrow, have a cup of tea, check my email and paint?

I know I'm just being stubborn- I know the answer. I have to stop the wanting. But I do get frustrated from time to time...
Good night!

Monday, October 6, 2008

A little ditty:

Oohh lala! I enjoyed making this so much! So I put it on etsy. (it's a little book/zine)