Sunday, October 26, 2008


what makes you so terrified of going home this evening?

I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. They TOLD me that. She eats two cheeseburgers for breakfast. Every morning! She drinks coffee and never cleans the house. She's awful and I don't want to go home.

I: None of these things seem very frightening to me, can you maybe take a minute to think about why these are scaring you?

Tom: I guess

I; Great

T: There's food on the floor, not whole foods, but chunks of bagels and squiggles of cooked hamburger near the stove. I think we have mice and cockroaches. It's disgusting. And she's addicted to the coffee, addicted! Isn't that why I am here? The cheeseburgers are ok I guess, but it doesn't seem healthy. I mean, she wants me to be healthy and she's eating that shit in the morning.

I- I understand more now what is making you agitated. Let's just sit with these feelings for a moment. Really let yourself feel the hostility. It won't harm you, I'm right here. Let's give it a try.

T; Whatever [closes eyes, still squirming]

Oh, this is ridiculous. It never ends up how I imagine anyway. I'm making an appointment and writing this all down. I can NEVER get my words out, dammit! I fucking suck. Maybe they'll keep me. Don't make me go home. I don't want to go home.. They can't make me go home!

[dials 0 on the telephone]

nurse: Hello Tom, what can I do for you?

I need to see Dr. Nostrund.

Nurse: You can see him at your appointment in the morning, 9am, remember?

I have to see him now! Please!

Nurse: Tom, it's four o'clock in the morning. Please go to sleep.

Fucking Bitch. [slams the phone down]

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen

what makes you so terrified of going home this evening?

1 comment:

William Keckler said...


the couch trip.