Wednesday, April 28, 2010


The clouds are
letting me

their reflection
in my eyes.

Walk on water

Me and my puppy

Hello, I live here :)

I've always felt that Milford is enchanted.  My drive to work takes me down a road with a view of Gulf Beach and Charles Island as the sun is rising.  The golden hued sky warms and wakes the birds and me as I ride in my little purple car to a place far removed from my glistening sandland.  It's not long before I am home again to see pink clouds hovering over the beach homes, leaving their reflection on the still waters.  As I was walking back to my house from the beach after taking these photos all I could smell was lilacs.  When I notice the beautiful ever-changing art around me I become a participant.  In the moment, there is no need to make paintings because I'm actually in one.  With that thought I usually just smile, sit in the sand and stare at the sky, bewildered and in awe.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Listening to Cherbourg

Ain't nothing pretty
enough for this day
that I could say,

so I'm soakin' deep 
the sunshine like a
freshly unfurled leaf.

Monday, April 19, 2010

"You're not desolee at all" (sobre el amigo del)

we fell
asleep so fast.

But it seemed
too good

be true.  Predicted
by the

So cold-  maybe
that did

Try 2 (with added love)


In Advance

Dear Rachel

Dear Rachel,
When I called you this afternoon you didn't pick up.  Why is that?  Were you too busy singing your happy songs and playing with facebook?  You used to come over everyday, sometimes more than once and now I just feel left out of your life.  I hate to lay a guilt trip on you but you always tell me to be honest; that you can handle it.  I really miss you so I hope to see you around soon.  -Blog

Dear Gosh, Blog-
I'm sorry!  It's not that I don't think of you, I do all the time.  Sometimes I just get swept up in other things.  I still love you so much and I'll be back soon.  Things are shifting around right now and it's exciting but maybe getting in the way of telling you all about it.  And, yes singing happy songs has been happening often.  I never knew how much fun it is to sing in the shower, hehe.  I'm having fun driving my new car everywhere and I'm looking for a new road trip.  I'm also wondering what quinine is all about.  I bet you can help me with all of this :)  Thanks for always being there buddy.  <3 Rachel

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Can't sleep

I can't sleep,  An hour later each time I check.  Huge hole in my chest from pretending at work that I care.  Getting looks, remarks.  When I was in second grade I refused to go to school for three weeks, almost stayed back.  It feels like that now only my Grandma isn't around to bribe me with hand-made, stuffed elephants.  I still have the one she made me when I got my GED.  I don't like answering to people; I'm sure not many people do.  I made up a dream about a team of badass lesbian detectives, it was a tv show with end credits and a theme song.  The announcer was Aiden from Sex & The City.  The final scene was a man taking off a monster mask.  So who's the monster?  Hopefully it's work and I've gotten this lesson down.  Haha.  Just last week I was thinking that it's not so bad to be working because I can go out more to dinner with friends and afford to buy shorts that don't come from goodwill.  It's no wonder this backlash is coming.  I was getting sucked in.  Doesn't it seem that once you are at peace with a situation it is time to move on?

Monday, April 12, 2010

sleepy pockets

Work is killing my brain. I don't think I have anything of substance to say at all. I have a bunch of projects I'd like to work on, too, but they stay in little pockets in my head. They are well designed, embroidered around the seam opening pockets, but still they stay locked up in their hiding places taking naps. I know what's it's like to be woken up from a nap and It's not a pretty scene, so that's just another reason they stay...I'd hate to become the temporary enemy of a groggy project. I've started all of them, in one way or another. Usually I start things spontaneously and then develop the moment into something organized. I have lots of videos of me singing in funny voices to the car radio; I call that 'Singin' Silly." That is in addition to my, "Dance Party in the Car" video series. I figure if I can make myself laugh after being cubicled in all day at a stinky manufacturing plant made in the 50's where I look at numbers and do paperwork, maybe I can inspire you to laugh too. Laugh at me, with me, at yourself, doesn't matter.

Smiling changes biochemistry, it's true. I read that in Psychosomatics, a really old book, so you know they aren't just playing. The Buddha also had a slight smile all the time and he knew what he was doing. Try it, curl your mouth up and tell me you don't notice that slight mood elevation- I do. Someone told me last summer that I have a grin even when I'm crying. I think it's because I used to practice keeping a Buddha face, it must have stuck.

Anyway, maybe some of these projects will surface soon. I'm also wanting to publish more chapbooks and zines. If you think Sephyrus Press is right for you let me know. I love words and paper. I will love working on your book. :) I also want a cheeseburger. I need to find gluten free buns and bring them to some greasy hamburger joint and ask them to use my bun. Mmmm, meat. I can't remember the last time I ate a cheeseburger but it's one of my favorite foods. My top pick is whipped cream. Yes, it's a food. I love making my own because I add all sorts of spices and extracts to it. Whipped cream can be fancy. It's also really good on fruit. Who needs ice cream when there are fruit bowls with whipped cream on top? Not me. Before this post gets more ridiculous and shows just how over tired I am I will go. Have wonderful days.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Heard this three times today

Sweet Disposition by Temper Tramp
This video is more of an ad for 500 Days of Summer than a video, but the one I wanted wouldn't embed.  It's a good movie though, I liked it a lot, but the lead male is cute and I love Zoey DeChanel.  I just like movies with unusual endings.  I had never heard this song on the radio before today and I heard it three times in the few hours of being on the road.  Hearing this song for the second time while driving home tonight I had a feeling to change the station to 104.1 only to find that the same song is on there too.  I checked the lyrics to make sure I wasn't missing some huge message from the universe, but it's nothing new.  Meh...nothing new :)  It's a cool song and movie, I think I'll leave it at that.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Blur: better than a chant

This song has so much energy, it's a real mover. They get going, building it up 'til they're all smiling and dancing. This is the last song on Best of Blur, which is a great cd. I saw blur once at a small theater in Boston, The Orpheum:
 It was probably 10 years ago and I didn't know the music aside from Song 2, which is rockin' so I went along.  I'll see just about any band live because it's great fun and you can dance :)  My friend and I ended up hanging out with the band at their hotel; in the bar/lobby, not in their rooms...  I was young and didn't have too much interesting conversation but I do remember pretending to be a drummer.  I used to do that a lot, not sure why, hehe.  I told that to Fiona Apple's drummer, too.  Blur has a fantastic sound and I love the way they use silly disco beats in some of their songs like in Boys and Girls. This song's base line is amazing, too.  Dance!

And I have to:

The woohoo song!  I scream this in my car every day.  It keeps me going. 

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Well, I did it...I'm singing.

There's really no good reason for me to be posting this but Mo wanted to hear me sing and she just had surgery yesterday and a birthday on Tuesday. That's right, we have the same birthday :) So here you go, brace yourself. It's not terrible and it's not too great; all I care about is that I'm not afraid anymore! What a feat for me...woohoo!

This is the second half of Five Cent Fare by The Blue Hit, a totally rockin' Austin Band. They are all as silly as me and truly wonderful people. Give them some love!

Oh, and I'm driving :)


A convex distinction:
approval or

Placement through light,
yet present

Residing nights through
sleep til

"For the sake
of my

don't ask me
over again

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Quiet like me, a ghost
appearing behind wooden
desks- oh! Now past the
vinyl hall. "Keep up with
him," she hollered. The
echo rippled his shirt.


Spills from the sugar shaker-
the table has dots
of cinnamon and sprinkles
meant for toast with butter.

A cheery breakfast eaten
near noon time, usually
without coffee; instead
a deep amber tea.

Monday, April 5, 2010

peeling chemical cinder

disperses toxins into the bloodstream

not too much in common with ants

displays red as a color of warning

signals the brain

you've got it

the flash



Designed for stalling
the butteriest yellow pollen
sticking to your chin,
those hairs so translucent
as dandelion fluff.

What if he was to lie
in the tall grass of the
field and let a bumble bee
nuzzle his face like a stamen?
He may sprout roots or
at least the corners of
his mouth may relax
to a grin.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Whoa, Jesus was a righteous man

Happy Easter if it's your thing. The easter bunny is a great character. I'm just so psyched to have a day to celebrate a ghost. I could go on and on about how awesome Jesus is but you probably have your mind made up by now. Don't let religion ruin him for you, that's not his bag anyway. Well I hope you all have a spectacular day. The weather here is unbelievable plus I just learned that Dirty Dancing is on hulu.