I'm 'at work' at the New Milford Starbucks and noticed a new edition of Coffee News. This two-sided piece of paper (one sheet) is so chock full of funny stuff. One segment is called On the Lighter Side and contains little sayings supposed to make you giggle. They tend to be truly absurd instead of light and sweet though. Here's this issue:
In what month do people talk the least? February
Shoe salesman who had dragged out half his stock to a woman customer: "Mind if I rest a few minutes, lady? Your feet are killing me!"
When we're lost in thought, could the reason be that we're totally on unfamiliar terrain?
What is the name of a tourniquet worn on the left hand to stop circulation? An engagement ring.
A motorist is a person who, after seeing a wreck, drives carefully for several blocks.
Nothing annoys a woman more than to have friends drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it normally does.
Good words are drops of silver; good deeds are buckets of gold.
Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of the management.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
A weekly horoscope is also given and it's perfect for what I am here for!
Aries: Time seems to pass swiftly as you become passionately involved in a project that touches your heart. Savor every minute.
Ain't that the truth!