Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Horoscopes for all!

I don't know If I am allowed to post this or not...but like the poem below says, fuck it! Rob Brezsny is an extremely intuitive astrologer who I've been reading for years. He does a one a week thing in the Advocate and for his newsletter. Since I have friends and family of all signs I thought I'd share. His newsletter is free and you can sign up at the url below. Happy astrologizing :)

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning July 30
Copyright 2009 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Would you like to spend the next 30 years
working your assets off to make your bosses rich? If not, I suggest you
start formulating Plan B immediately. The astrological time is not exactly
ripe to extricate yourself from the wicked game, but it's ripe to begin
scheming and dreaming about how to extricate yourself. Here's a tip to
get you in the mood. Assume that there's some validity in the meme that
mythologist Joseph Campbell articulated: "Follow your bliss and the
money will come." Then ask yourself, "Do I even know what my bliss is?
Not my mild joy or diversionary fun but my unadulterated bliss?" Once
you know that, you can follow it. And then, inevitably -- although it may
take a while -- the money will follow.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As the season of riddles and paradoxes kicks
into high gear, I present you with a two-part quiz. Question 1: Since it has
taken you your whole life to become the person you are today, is it
reasonable to expect that you can transform yourself in a flash? Question
2: On the other hand, since you are more creative than you give yourself
credit for, and are also in an astrological phase when your ability to
change is greater than usual, is it reasonable to assume that you must
remain utterly stuck in your old ways of doing things?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): So much to say and do. So little time. Is it OK if
I pepper you with pithy hints? It's the only way to fit everything in. Here
goes. There's strength in numbers, Libra. So travel in packs. Round up
support and whip up group fervor. Always say "we," not "I." Add at least
one new friend and bolster at least one old friendship. Think before you
act, but always act instead of watching from afar. Avoid doing stupid
things in smart ways. To court good luck, do charity work. To ensure that
extra favors will come your way later this year, do extra favors now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Biblical book of Isaiah prophesies a
future time of undreamed-of harmony and cooperation. "The wolf will
romp with the lamb," reads one translation. "Cow and bear will graze in
the same pasture, their calves and cubs will grow up together, and the
lion will eat straw like the ox." I have it on good astrological authority that
you're now eligible for a mini-preview of this paradisiacal state. To receive
your free introductory offer, you need only meet one condition. You must
vow not to harm any living thing -- not even a cockroach. Not even the
person you love best.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You Sagittarians are famous for filling
your cups too full. Sometimes this is cute. Sometimes it's a problem for
those who don't like Cabernet Sauvignon sloshed on their handwoven
Persian rugs. This week, however, I predict there will be little or no hell to
pay for overflowing. So go ahead and transcend your containers, you
beautiful exaggerators. Feel free to express yourself like a fire hose. Now
enjoy a few gems from your fellow Sagittarius, the extravagant poet and
painter William Blake. 1. "The road of excess leads to the palace of
wisdom." 2. "Exuberance is beauty." 3. "The lust of the goat is the
bounty of God." 4. "You never know what is enough unless you know
what is more than enough."

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Constant vigilance, my friend. That's what
I advise. Be attentive to details you sometimes gloss over. Wake up a
little earlier and prepare for each encounter with greater forethought.
Stare a little harder into the hearts of all those whose hidden motivations
might detour your destiny. Monitor all communications for hints that all is
not as it seems. Most importantly, guard against the possibility that you
may be overlooking a gift or blessing that's being offered to you in an
indirect way.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "Keep exploring what it takes to be the
opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,
author of the book *Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and
Invention.* This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into
attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone or getting in
the groove or being aligned with the great cosmic flow. How would you go
about being the opposite of who you are, Aquarius? According to my
reading of the omens, that will be an excellent question for you to muse
about in the coming weeks. As you stretch yourself to embody the secret
and previously unknown parts of you, I think you'll be pleased with how
much more thoroughly that allows you to be in sync with the rhythms of
life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Internet addiction has risen to epidemic
proportions in China. In early 2009, psychologists in Shandong province
began offering an alleged cure that involved the use of electro-shock
therapy. Parents of 3,000 young people paid Dr. Yang Yongxin and his
team over $800 a month to hook their anesthetized teens up to
machines that sent electricity through their brains to induce artificial
seizures. After four months, the Chinese government intervened and
halted the treatment, noting that there was no evidence it worked. This
practice might sound comically barbaric to you, but I think it has a certain
resemblance to the way you have been dealing with your own flaws and
excesses: with inordinate force. In the coming weeks, I really think it's
important not to punish yourself for any reason, Pisces, even if it's in a
supposedly good cause. The lesson of the Chinese experiment is: not only
is it overkill, it also doesn't even have the desired effect.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you a gelatinous pool of longing yet? Are
you a perfumed garden of madly blooming purple explosions? Are you
throbbing and gooey and half-nauseous with that delicious sickness some
people called love? If not, I don't know what to tell you. By all astrological
reckoning your gut should be swarming with drunk butterflies and the
clouds should be taking on the shapes of mating horses. If you're not half-
drowning in these symptoms, I implore you to find a way to pry open the
floodgates.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You're primed to cancel a jinx in the coming
days, Taurus. You could help someone (maybe even yourself) escape a
bewitchment, and you might be able to soothe a wound that has been
festering for a long time. In fact, I'm playing with the fantasy that you are
now the living embodiment of a lucky charm. At no other time in recent
memory have you had so much power to reverse the effects of perverse
karma, bad habits, and just plain negative vibes. Your hands and eyes are
charged with good medicine. Other parts of you are, too, which means
sexual healing could be in the works. But as you embark on your mission
to cure everyone you love, remember the first law of the soul doctor:
"Physician, heal thyself."

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Norwegians used to have a concept called
*svoermere,* which meant something sweetly futile or deliciously
unprofitable. While I can see the appeal that your particular version of
*svoermere* has had for you, Gemini, I think it's time to think about
moving on. According to my reading of the omens, you have both a right
and a duty to seek out more constructive pleasures that not only make
you feel good but also serve your long-term goals.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It's Freedom from Want Week! For Cancerians
only! During this uncanny grace period, you might actually feel perfectly
contented. It's quite possible that you'll be free from the obsession to
acquire more security, more love, more proof of your greatness, more
chotchkes, more everything. You may even make the shocking discovery
that you don't need nearly as much as you thought you did in order to be
happy; that maybe you have a lot to learn about getting more out of
what you already have.

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