You are still able to balance so in reality you are fine. You see the greatness and beauty that is in everything. All you need to do to drop that ache is acknowledge that you always seem to find a reason not to go for it. Stop portraying yourself as less than you know you are. Just because you have been conditioned to sit quietly doesn't mean that's best for you. You have a lot to say, so say it. Your mental faculties are all there, you have an expansive heart that fits mountains inside it. Your solar plexus, my dear, will settle. The rest of you is just fine.
I've noticed that you are having quite the difficult time in deciding what to reveal. You're a lake with no bottom. Let those who wish to swim, swim. The others will pass through easily. No need to worry. Relax your shoulders, take a deep breath and the exhale will contain the perfect amount of you.
There is much in your life that is dulling. You can see this. Are you done with it or not?