It's been too long!

(I love exclamation points)

I'm a bad blogger and will make it even worse by creating a pointless post right now. I've been up to lots of things which would give me much to write about but somehow...it doesn't seem to work that way. I suppose I'd rather make stuff up or maybe I just need smooth sailing in order to allow my thoughts to form into a poem. Oh well, no bother. I'll just keep drinking my Awake tea at 1:00 am and see what happens. The battery in my laptop is suggesting that I end this post now.

Orange becomes Red

Obstructed

steep

the left eye steeps
tries to keep a hold
on damn impossible tears
engage through the right
you don't know how it feels
and i can't ask you
for what i want.

how is this happening
that i shut myself off?
i'm not like this, not
capable of keeping calm.
too many disasters to
confess, will end up
gone.

lastly, your mess
which keeps me near,
is ending long
long
long

I like this version better

silent bunny asks me
to pause
reflecting lips and
coarse hair touch,
orange half-lit moon
of the street up ahead.

The Drive Home

Two streets away from my house I glance out the passenger side window to see a bunny hopping jaggedly through the grass. Just before the bunny hops out of view it pauses and looks at me. Our eyes lock for less than a second before the bunny turns away to resume its late-night journey down the corridor of sod. That's the first living wild animal I've seen in days. Illumined from the inside out I slow the car to take a left turn. A smile sprouts as my lips roll together then slightly part. I fight the knowing that the imprint will fade eventually despite my frequent reenactments. As my mailbox comes into view I drive gentler with the music low and my eyes bright with newness.

Jesus told me to do it

He told me to draw this blue star
and showed me the planets in the background.
I laughed and said, "oh, lord!"
and he told me he doesn't like to be called that.
Then he went off to a friend's dream.

Separation

Out to lunch

Drawings from tonight's class

The students taking my intuitive drawing class are so amazing. I wanted to thank them on the blog for being so open and willing to learn. :) Great job!!! Tonight we ventured into drawing for other people and channeling spirit's messages. It was great fun and they surprised me by their clarity and power. woohoo!

Here are some of my drawings from class:


Middle Ground



Toss It

Time to honor Venus

Venus will go direct in a few days.

And since it's in Pisces, it's a great time for fantasies and pleasure.

Anyway - to honor Venus and her loveliness I've added a new blog to the 'ol roll.

It's deliciously enticing!

Have fun with your self-love ;)

Sleep Time

I'm reading Marie Corelli's, A Romance of Two Worlds. It's not as tight as her other works but still very enjoyable. It's the kind of book I might write someday if I could ever finish a project that long. I've started so many in the past... I'm fascinated with how to balance a life existing in two places. (if you couldn't tell by tonight's posts, lol) She describes this beautifully. Her work can be found online here: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/4394
The Gutenberg Project is amazing.

Good night!

Equilibrium

I am not phased by death.
To live equally in both worlds
bears a resemblance to insanity;
for not a care can touch the soul
and not one angel's voice goes unheard.

By Rumi

I think too much about this stuff. I just see so many suffering people not to. I am confused by all the rules. My year is of the number 9, whatever that means. I feel ready to fly. I am ready to turn inside out. Then I remember where I live and fear comes. The lead apron they put on you for x-rays is heavy for a reason. It fucks you up.



LOVE IS THE MASTER

Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love.
By my passion of love for Love
I have ground sweet as sugar.
O furious Wind, I am only a straw before you;
How could I know where I will be blown next?
Whoever claims to have made a pact with Destiny
Reveals himself a liar and a fool;
What is any of us but a straw in a storm?
How could anyone make a pact with a hurricane?
God is working everywhere his massive Resurrection;
How can we pretend to act on our own?
In the hand of Love I am like a cat in a sack;
Sometimes Love hoists me into the air,
Sometimes Love flings me into the air,
Love swings me round and round His head;
I have no peace, in this world or any other.
The lovers of God have fallen in a furious river;
They have surrendered themselves to Love's commands.
Like mill wheels they turn, day and night, day and night,
Constantly turning and turning, and crying out.

I'm no critic

but I love that Rumi has his crazy time too. He makes me feel better in my craziness. It doesn't mean anything because it disappears. I can choose not to obey its wishes. I don't know why it feels good sometimes to be involved in it. I have gone too long without purging my layers. The truth is all relative. That gets me every time.



Confused and distraught


Again I am raging, I am in such a state by your soul that every
bond you bind, I break, by your soul.
I am like heaven, like the moon, like a candle by your glow; I am all
reason, all love, all soul, by your soul.
My joy is of your doing, my hangover of your thorn; whatever
side you turn your face, I turn mine, by your soul.
I spoke in error; it is not surprising to speak in error in this
state, for this moment I cannot tell cup from wine, by your soul.
I am that madman in bonds who binds the "divs"; I, the madman,
am a Solomon with the "divs", by your soul.
Whatever form other than love raises up its head from my
heart, forthwith I drive it out of the court of my heart, by your soul.
Come, you who have departed, for the thing that departs
comes back; neither you are that, by my soul, nor I am that, by your soul.
Disbeliever, do not conceal disbelief in your soul, for I will recite
the secret of your destiny, by your soul.
Out of love of Sham-e Tabrizi, through wakefulness or
nightrising, like a spinning mote I am distraught, by your soul.

"Mystical Poems of Rumi 2" A. J. Arberry
The University of Chicago Press, 1991