Can't sleep

I can't sleep,  An hour later each time I check.  Huge hole in my chest from pretending at work that I care.  Getting looks, remarks.  When I was in second grade I refused to go to school for three weeks, almost stayed back.  It feels like that now only my Grandma isn't around to bribe me with hand-made, stuffed elephants.  I still have the one she made me when I got my GED.  I don't like answering to people; I'm sure not many people do.  I made up a dream about a team of badass lesbian detectives, it was a tv show with end credits and a theme song.  The announcer was Aiden from Sex & The City.  The final scene was a man taking off a monster mask.  So who's the monster?  Hopefully it's work and I've gotten this lesson down.  Haha.  Just last week I was thinking that it's not so bad to be working because I can go out more to dinner with friends and afford to buy shorts that don't come from goodwill.  It's no wonder this backlash is coming.  I was getting sucked in.  Doesn't it seem that once you are at peace with a situation it is time to move on?