Last Night's Dinner - Pho

Austin!

Austin is amazing.  The people here are beyond nice.  It's hard to put into words how different the vibe is here as opposed to Connecticut.  I love it in Milford, being on the beach, seeing friends I've known since Kindergarten, hanging out in local coffeeshops and enjoying the overall Milford thang, but Austin is another world entirely.   The people I've met so far truly embrace the sharing/eco-living philosophy.  The house I'm staying in now has a few chickens and a rooster out back, they separate their trash and burn the 'burnables,'  and the housemates all get along, sing and play guitar together and play games.  I haven't seen a locked front door here yet, either.

I've often wondered if living in Austin would somehow be detrimental to my professional ambitions.  Connecticut has a built in pressure to succeed that most of the country doesn't.  The air is thick with urgency, greed and high social standards that you can't help but be surrounded by even if your personal ideals are different.  Even now,  I'm sitting outside at a plywood table in 60 degree weather blogging.  I just passed up an opportunity to go meet some more people because I 'need' to get some work done.  My Connecticut muscle tension hasn't completely faded yet. 

It is becoming apparent to me as I travel to different countries and states that an outside pressure isn't needed to make your life what you want it.  It may have worked so far to channel the inherent gogettum energy of the place I grew up but it can also come from inside.  Is it possible that I can relax and also make my career what I want it to be?  Yes, of course.  :)-  The thought of going back to CT in a few weeks and going back to a day job, even for a few months is starting to seem unnecessary.  It's the old way to get from A to B and being surrounded by proof of another option is too tempting to dismiss.   

En Route

Right now I am in a cloud. I am using my laptop on a plane, which I've never done before. I am fearing that my typing noises are bugging people, I should stop worrying so much about other people. I'm one of the travelers that would never dare to put my seat back, even an inch. I'm in a people sandwich. My ears just popped. It's a jittery flight, gentle bumps that make tummies giggle. Good parents drive fast over certain roads so their kids get silly bellies.

Still in a cloud. They sell snacks now. Peanut M&M's for two dollars. They only take credit cards, no cash. “Hi, I'll buy some chips, here's my visa”...silly. My window's media player is singing me relaxing music. Jack Johnson's what I listen to when I want a hand in chilling out. I need it now so that I don't start asking everyone, “Isn't this awesome? We are in clouds! They are sparkly! It's SNOWING right now from them. They are dropping snow, maybe we could see the snow being MADE up here!”

I always forget that clouds are glittery when you're in them. I can't believe it's been almost two years since I've been on a plane. I would fly every week if I could. Taking off is thrilling and turbulence is better than a roller coaster. I know bad things can happen but it doesn't worry me. I have pretty amazing luck. Besides, if I'm gonna die in a plane at least I'll be happy. I'm pretty sure I have lots of years left though. Ok, it IS getting creepy to write about this while I am actually in a plane...so new topic.

Peanuts, soft cookie or pretzels? I brought four Kashi go lean bars because they taste better than candy bars and have lots of fiber. My favorite kind is the chocolate peanut butter and I cleaned Shop Rite out of them. I bought the chocolate almond toffee, too, but just one because it's not that great. They used to have a cookies and cream version but I haven't seen it in years. The fold down trays that are in planes are so small, my laptop is half on/half off and I hope it stays put. I've gotta give credit to the rubber nubbins on the bottom. They are really gripping the plastic tray.

I tried to take a picture as I was entering the plane but the line moved too fast for me to get away with it. God forbid I hold up the seating to take a picture, haha. That would get me mugged at least. I looked all over the delta website this morning to see if the plane would have wi-fi and I got an unusual answer, it said I have a 66% chance. Ha. It isn't especially important to me so I didn't sign up for the service in advance, you have to pay for it. So back to boarding...I was almost on the plane and to the right of the main door is a sticker pronouncing 'Wi-Fi Onboard,' isn't that funny? I wouldn't think to put a sticker on the plane but it's very effective. I bet the flight attendants are relieved if even one person is notified by the sign.

34,000 feet - over Allentown, PA

These pretzels are adorable! They're teeny, just a little bigger than my thumbnail. We are landing in Atlanta, GA first to pick up and drop off passengers before heading over to San Antonio. I don't have to get off the plane but I wish I was. Atlanta is one of the most beautiful airports I've seen. There are huge palm trees and a whole bunch of other tropical plantings there, not to mention a little shuttle to get from one terminal to the other. I forget the proper name for those vehicles/trains...the ones that use magnetic tracks.


I feel sort of obnoxious, being in my people sandwich using technology to make click, click noises, they might be able to hear my music, too and I'm wearing hot pink and have green hair and I'm crunching on pretzels and they are done with their snacks already. Even the pretzel bag is loud. I bet they got quiet things. These people are reading, wearing conservative sweaters and one has tan corduroy pants. They are super nice and let me put my huge backpack under the seat, using up some of their space, too. All the overhead space was used by the time I got on a plane and I would have had to check mine. Nice people rock. I am so impressed by people who can do cross word puzzles. My right-side neighbor is working on one. I'm lucky if I can get one or two clues, my brain just doesn't work that way I guess. I used to buy search-a-word books instead. I had a bible edition once that I got at the dollar store. It was hilarious and sometimes challenging because of all the strange names in the bible. They didn't always register as words in my brain so it was hard picking them out. My Grandpa and Mom are fantastically good at word puzzles. It must have skipped me.


I've never used the bathroom in an airplane. I've seen too many movies and sitcoms to even go near one. You know they don't clean them after every flight and I imagine that with all the people who are anxious about flying they can get gnarly pretty fast. Gnarts should be a word. It makes me laugh to say it because it rhymes with farts and the 'gn' is a silly combo.


My traveling books are The Great Gatsby, which I read every few years and something borrowed, The Complete Rimbaud (translated into English). One of my favorite parts of poetry collections/translations are the introductions by the editor/translator, if there is one. I like knowing where the translator is coming from, why he is doing this particular body of work, how he identifies with it, etc. Poetry must be so difficult to translate in the first place that knowing about the person changing the original seems important to me. I've never compared translations of anything but I normally research what comes recommended. One of my favorite things to do is read Spanish poetry. I have enough of a handle on the language to get a good sense of the poem, my French is not there yet. I do try sometimes, though.

The flight ended up splendidly with an extra happy note. I got to leave the plane when we landed. I figured they'd make us wait on board like they always do. So now I am at a French Bakery sitting at a table eating a bagel and drinking a vanilla latte. Mmmmm! I would have gotten the croissant but I didn't see it at first. The music is completely entertaining. It's 80's weekend on this radio station and every song has been stellar. I walked into I Feel For You by Shaka Khan (I can never remember if it's one 'k' or not)...Goody, Goody Two Shoes is on now, it may have a different name but I'm not sure of it. It's just a great song. Many other songs have been on, equally good, but the hook on this song is so captivating that I can't remember them. Oh, Manic Monday was on, too. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me is on now!! LOVE Boy George, maybe on the way to Texas I'll watch The Wedding Singer, It's one of the few movies I have stored on my laptop. This song is performed in the movie several times and it's awesome. The Atlanta airport is one of the few airports with a smoking lounge, such a novelty. I remember being a little girl flying to Disney World and my mom smoking on the plane. The only thing that seems to be difficult here is the Wi-Fi. It won't connect me to the internet, but I only have an hour anyway. I'm not that technologically spoiled :)

Twenty minutes to go with my layover. I left my big bag on the plane because they offered and I didn't feel like lugging it around with me. My trip so far has been amazing and I haven't even landed in Texas yet. Yay. Van Halen now on the radio...maybe my cue to leave. Wait, it's not Van Halen, I think it's Boston. OOOooooohhh All Night, Aaaaaalll Night.....any way you want it that's the way you need it anyway you want it. Anybody?

The only gum I have left is the gross, back-up gum. It's mint mojito and it tastes like lime and mint and maybe in a drink that tastes good, but in a gum it's kinda nasty. I ate my last piece of 'Rain' gum on the plane to avoid the ear pain. Gum never works for me but I try. I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep....is on now. Love it. Gotta go, though. Oh, I have a radio in my phone, I should see if it works in the air on the plane. How funny would that be? You know I'll report back :)

I've abandoned the radio phone idea. I have a movie on now and it's hard to hear because my ears are clogged and plane engines are loud. Bright Star is on in the background but I switched over here to write because we hit turbulence. On the ground before I thought of how I love the sounds of traveling. When the plane was taxiing on the tarmac the multi-colored lights reminded me of christmas. Then when we were taking off the lights revealed their pattern. Atlanta is beautiful at night from the sky.

Hair stare

I'm getting some serious hair stare at the airport.  I said earlier that airports can be counted on for diversity and the reactions to the green hair are no exception.  I've had my picture taken by some strangers, that's a first and some kid in an argyle sweater with spiky blond hair has been staring at me for twenty minutes.  I don't know why he doesn't just say something.  He's literally six feet away from me and gawking, I look back occasionally and then he turns away for a minute. 

I decided to move to my gate location and as I sat down this old lady gave me a wtf?  look.  I love old ladies :)  In a few years her white hair might accidentally turn blue when she does her rinse.  As I walked to my new location some other lady said rather loudly, "nice hair!"   I could tell she meant it, too, which was nice.  I'm not complaining about any of this.  Even though I don't do it for the attention, I rather like it.  Ninety percent of the time, when I notice a reaction from passersby, they smile and that makes me smile right back.  

I got my bag checked for the first time ever, don't think it has anything to do with the hair but you never know.  The agent was very nice and he had a legitimate reason.  I had wrapped a piece of selenite in a sock to keep it undamaged and he said it looked strange in the scan.  After he tested it (don't know what he did) he rescanned it and said I could have it back.  My flight is boarding now, woohoo!  Bye!

Airports

I just thought of another reason I'd like to avoid living in high snow areas, flight delays.  I'm clear so far today but who knows what will happen.  Newark, La Guardia, Rochester, Baltimore and a few other airports are canceling flights today because of the storm.   A delay or rescheduled flight would not make a huge impact on my travels and I love airports (no, really!) so having to spend a few extra hours in one would be great.  Airports are filled with such diversity.  Listening to people walking by speaking so many different languages is exciting to me.  So Austin, here I come. 

I try to play it cool

I do.  I try not to be a giddy little girl when things go my way but it never works.  I just end up not being able to sleep because I'm holding in my excitement, then I get heartburn again not to mention dark circles under my eyes because I've been up all night.  The second I put my head to the pillow while repeating, 'you can still get two hours, it's like a nap, you can sleep more later,' a huge smile erupts on my face, I get a jolt of adrenaline and upright goes my body. 

No specifics yet for a few reasons...I'm still not sure how and if jinxes work and I love to share but not to brag which I have a hard time distinguishing when I'm excited about something.  Let's just say that cutting the fat from your life, whether it be an external factor and/or internal garbage (and it's usually the internal that allows the external to exist) really does make space for the awesome stuff to come true.  You can really design your life how you want it.  The trick seems to be this, if what you want makes you happy then it's easier to make it happen.  That seems intuitive enough, but think about what you want and why. 

Most people will say they want money, but what is it for?  Do you want to go on vacation because that will make you happy?  Then want the vacation instead of the money.  Once you've figured that part out, make space for it to come into your life.  Think that it's possible.  Allow yourself to release everything hindering it from being real.  Life is short and there is no limit to the happiness you can achieve. 

I sound like a motivational speaker, I know.  I just want to express how limitless you really are.  Roadblocks will come up again and again but this is a game worth getting good at.  I am AMAZED all the time at how almost everything I've ever wanted comes to me at the perfect time.  I'd love to help anyone do the same.  It is sometimes hard work to clear the path, but the reward is magic. 

Crunchy water

Roger Swain! "man in the red suspenders"

He's like my cooky Grandpa :)  According to wikipedia he hosted The Victory Garden from the mid 80's to 2002.  He always knew how to make gardening interesting and his accent was so charming.  I can picture him now digging his hands through the soil, sniffing it to show appreciation for his much loved compost additive.  I bet I get my love of mulch and soil from him.  He gave a talk at the CT Garden Show in Hartford a bunch of years ago.  I went to the show but I missed him.  :(     I hope this guy is still getting props for what an amazing inspiration he is.

The new guy, Jamie Durie is from Australia and is said to have been a stripper, an equivalent to the American Chippendale dancers.  Wow, has gardening gotten sexy?  Maybe they are using sex to get people into gardening.  It wouldn't surprise me but it's a little sad.  Should I blindly trust PBS's integrity?  I suppose it doesn't matter.  (isn't that the apathy that is making this country turn to shit?)  It's a good thing I'm not in politics.    I get it now, he was on Oprah!  Well, if Oprah says he legit.... 

LOL

The Victory Garden

This is a show I've watched since I was a little girl.  I wish I could remember the name of the old guy who used to host it.  The new people are wonderful, too, very entertaining.  One guy uses words like 'succulente' and 'far out.'

Today they went to an art garden in California.  It wasn't just a sculpture garden with plantings, the plots were given to artists and each was designed to represent a different theme.  One guy made a Japanese garden with a meditation box.  A Mexican artist made a walkway of terracotta to represent the hard journey from Mexico to California.  They were all very well done, where the theme wasn't overpowering the nature.

You can watch a few episodes of The Victory Garden on pbs.com.  I can't even think of another show, maybe besides soap operas, that have been on this long.  It so comforting :)  I've been gardening since I was 2 when my neighbor showed me how to plant carrots in the narrow strip of dirt cushioning the driveway from the fence between our houses.  It was magic to me that a little seed could turn into a carrot.  I moved on to radishes after that because of their quick germination and maturity.  This would be a great starter for kids, they will grow in any soil and reach maturity in about 30 days.  Just move some grass out of the way in the yard and pop the seeds in.  Water for the first few days but after that you can really just leave them alone.
The best part is eating something you've grown from seed; it always tastes better :)  C'mon Spring!  I'm salivating over these gardening shows.

Shhhhh...people are working

I snuck in the front door and found a hiding spot here.  I hope no one notices me!  

Haha!  That kitty is making a funny face. I wish I had a mouth.

Spongebob is trying to give me a high five, but with all of the diseases that get passed around at offices I kept on my protective germ shield. 

Help!  Bad slinky, bad!

Shhh.  Time to hide again.

Boxy!  What are you doing in here?  Can I have some of your ice cream?  Mmmm, pistachio, my favorite!

I have heartburn

Which is something I never usually get.  My Dad got me dinner tonight, penne with cream sauce and chicken, mushrooms and bacon, bread and a side salad.  I ate most of it, put it in the fridge and then went back for more.  I'm not even a fan of bacon but the dinner was delicious so I ate it.  That must have put me over the edge...  I  wonder what people do to get rid of heartburn.  I always saw people drinking soda so I went to the store to get  some but I ended up leaving with out any.  I don't really like soda.  I started out the day healthy with a fruit smoothie but from lunch on my diet sucked.  I had chicken tenders with ketchup for lunch then some brownies and later I caved and ate the two apricot cream chocolates left in the box.  I should just throw the box out, all that is left is orange cream and strawberry cream.  I just can't stand wasting it.  So this boring nonsense is being blogged because it's 2am and I napped earlier so I'm in the stage of being too awake to sleep but too sleepy to do or write anything of interest. 

I saw a jazz band last night and they were great.  There's something so sexy about an upright bass.  All of the musicians were very talented.  I wish I knew their name so I could post a video or something.  I'm going to Austin next week so I hope to see great music.  I have a video recorder on my phone so I'll try to take some while I'm there.  If anyone knows of cool things to do in Austin let me know.  I can't wait to be in warmer weather!  I'm a Spring baby so all of this cold is getting to me.  I'm so glad I bought more flowers, I love looking up and seeing them and also smelling them :) 

Impressions

After inhaling an asiago bagel covered in melted butter, I actually take a sip of my venti latte;  bet you can't guess where I am.  I've been working on the issue of boundaries lately; I don't seem to have any.  I know that isn't entirely true because I can deal with people and I understand when to back off.  I think the issue lies more in dealing with divulging too much information about myself all the time.  I had a psychic tell me this once as well, "don't talk about your business."  The first month of this year was a manic time for me.  I've never felt closer to mental illness but was able to keep a distance to the madness, allowing for the saving grace known as self-awareness.  Now that elemental balance is nearer circumstances in my life have truly improved.

I'd like to improve upon my fictional writing.  For some reason I've come to assume that people are reading my blog as reality.  I'm sure the opposite it more true.  What could I make up to emphasize that?  Probably not much.  My favorite way to write is in the first person so each of my characters will reveal something about me.  I also appreciate the feat of making someone feel uncomfortable, stirring up their insides so strongly that it makes them notice the changes in their physiology as muscles tense and body temperature changes.  It's not a power trip, it's a long distance hug.  Shake it up, rock it out.  Love is all around if you can peek into the crevasse of your heart chakra and notice the life in there.  I'm assuming that since blogger notes 'chakra' as a misspelled word not too many people understand what I am talking about.  When activated and humming, the heart chakra will feel warm and fuzzy, like when you are reading a love letter from an admired one or getting a huge hug from your child.  You all know the feeling I am talking about.  Crack it open for yourself, think about what makes your heart tingle and then keep your eyes peeled for stimulants.

I'll be in Austin for a few weeks soon.  I hope to capture the energy in many forms.  I've had this idea for a series of books that capture the energy of places with drawings, essays, poems, interviews and photos.  What I do best is give impressions.  I'm hoping that with so many different avenues of expression the book as a whole will give a clear impression of the vibe of the city.  I'll experiment in Austin and then by the time I get to Paris this summer I can do a better job. 

Back to the top, I want to provoke you.  Leave your existing world for a sec and imagine the infinite other worlds you could be living in right now.  I'm at a table in a retail establishment right now, I am also the center of the universe, I'm also in the heads of a few people who are thinking about me, I'm also in photographs and online and on vacation and at work and I'm perceived by every single other person who knows me as something different.  Where does the truth lie?  It's in everything.  The only thing to keep one centered is the inner connection we all have.

The Blue Hit covering All I Need by Radiohead

I think I say this every time I watch a video of this band, but this gave me chills.  There is something so fantastic about them, and covering Radiohead they are no less amazing.  Enjoy!

Just...

Put down that glass of wine
and open your mouth
when you screech like
a twelve year old girl.

The iron is still hot,
the yawning paused,
you've awakened for
a midnight cracker snack.

Shiny magenta threads
embedded in green pile
carpeting are not answers,
they are distractions.

Sewing circles into cloth
will not erase the words
that make your belly tumble
with preteen emotions. 

A night's poem

Approaching the point of
dissolution to find replies
leading in the opposite direction
turn this spiraled quilt to the floor.

My mini-golf scorecard,
crumpled into a ball and shoved
into the pocket of my constrictive,
gray jeans shows above par
performance in selection skills.

Most say to overshoot the goal,
a hole in one, yet results are lacking.
This seems to be a process involving
practice and mental agility, correcting
my aim to achieve a desired outcome.

I wonder if the aim is really off or
if my reactions are telling me the truth.

I say that life is too short to worry
about the next step.  It will arrive
with its own instruction manual
and probably enough unforseen
variables to warrant a fresh look.

I know that my morals flinch at
certain possibilities, something I
try not to judge, but keep awareness
of in the back of my mind.

Like salt water

Kid A

El Pelo

 

Floating in the wind
or
lying on a scanner bed
her
hair does not match
the
box's color sample.

A Valentine's Day Option

Bowery Poetry Club:

• 8:00PM - 9:30PM Wife Of Bath Valentine's Festival Of Erotic Poetry $8 Bowery Poetry Club proudly presents a Valentine's evening of raucous rhyme to fill your hearts with love! Featuring Ron Bass & John Stafford as the Earls of Codpiece, Steve Dalachinsky as Duke Daring Dirk, Tsaurah Litzky as Sultreena, Queen of the Strumpets, Nnenko as Naughty Empress of Gorgeous, Diane O'Debra as Lady Lush Locket, Paranoid Larry as Regent Rosy Rump, Nicole Peyrafitte as Princessa Purloined Panties, Thad Rutkowski as Lord Thundertwig + our infamous Oddest Bodice Contest & Triple XXX-tra Special Medieval Burlesque with Big Mike-Knight Errant Jockstrap & the Fabulous Faux Maux! 

The Bowery Poetry Club always has amazing events going on.  This sounds like a wonderful alternative to seeing a movie or sitting at home if you are looking for something to do.  

Located here:
308 Bowery, NYC 10012  ||  212.614.0505
betw. Bleecker & Houston, across from CBGB’s
F or V to 2nd Ave / 6 to Bleecker St.

www.bowerypoetry.com

Hot Damn

Yes, I am a superhero Goddess.
But there is a reason my wings
are hidden from view: it's so
you don't see me coming.

Quilt Construction

Keeps you warm, has sewn in memories.  May not advise you of your future.  Starts minimally, ends up with flaws.  May not be accepted.  May or may not be embroidered.  X's decorate.  Dyed fabric: gray. Box pattern.  Pattern included.  

Splash

Sit there across from me and share this plate of baba ghanoush.  Let me eat all of the tomato, I don't eat bread.  It's so vivid but I don't understand why you appear.  It's a brighter memory than I wish for.  The light streams in from the over sized retail window splashing up from the laminate wood table top.  Before i knew it was us I only saw the plastic silverware and paper napkin so politely folded.  There is no point to this reminder except for driving me further into this lavish self disapproval.  We don't exist as in this memory.  Let me throw this rock into the ocean; I don't even require a splash.  

Feel better

 

another big one, 4 x 2 feet, still wet

chalky fingerprints

Trap

wave swelling
soft stone piles
moss carpeted
shrimp farms
danger laden
mood killer
tremor rising
as if to
remind
broken ankles
sting ray
jellyfish purple
centered
ringing
to drown.

Winter

I may not be a sea gull after all.

Litter

Cigarette
butts and
sea gull feathers.

Reverse

In the distance a
smoke stack adds
volume to the pale
gray sky. Drifting
west, a new cloud departs.

If

If there were words
I'd say almost,
what's the point
if not to glimpse
an open heart?
That may be
enough for now.

Grumpy

Even this latte
tastes like
wood.

Instead

of wave
sand
anchor
shell

rectangle
stacks
dry
hands, pen
console
barricade
cold weather
clouds atop blue
near
open heart
lifeguard shack
red cross
piles of black bagged garbage

no cover
no ant traps
no sea gull dropping food

vertical reeds
sway
abysmal
dance

rotted pines
eroded stumps
weeded lots

houses framing this outgoing tide
wilderness

precise rows of seaweed in
eggplant and puce

leafless wildflowers make X's
to view the water by

Counting my luck stars, 1st up: Bough

I'm not sure how it happened but I'm so blessed to be surrounded by very talented people.  A good majority of my friends are musicians with their work being exquisitely unique unto themselves.  They each create whole universes that offer new energies to surround yourself with.  I'm in one right now, courtesy of Bough, and the album Broad Daylight.

From their website:

Bough is Andi Diluvian and a hedgemaze of friends, cohorts, and glistening sticky things.

Written and Recorded in 2008

This is an album in the original sense, in that its energy is linear and cumulative. It is intended to be in played in order from beginning to end. Do not take with grapefruit juice.

If you appreciate this release, you can help us by clicking the "Share" button to create a small magic box which can be put anywhere you want (this function is currently exclusive to the internet). We are working towards getting it properly mastered and pressed. If you think you can assist, simply shoot us an email.
If you are reading this, Thanks.

Forthcoming: Night's Electric Dog EP
And another full length. In due time, child...

         Contact: Boughouse@gmail.com
 


All ten songs on the album can be enjoyed using the player above or you can visit the bandcamp page.   I highly recommend jumping in and not trying to multi task while listening to this; it will bring you to some amazing places. I'd call this image inducing music, if not a complete transportation device.  My upper chakras sure are having fun!

Slowing Down the Shadow is a "live, mostly-improvised companion landscape to Broad Daylight" recorded February 2009 available as a free download.



I like how the piano is used as percussion and slowly builds the fullness of the song then to wind down and end perfectly.  If you have trouble astral projecting listen to this track and let the spin begin.  Just be careful ;)

After listening to the album and bonus track:

Over the next few days I will be posting more music so stay tuned!

Purple Morning

Purchase the print

Purchase the print

Purchase the print

Why am I here?

Just when I think that Connecticut has nothing new to offer me, I look out to the horizon just in time to view the most beautiful sunrise atop a gray blue sea. An image so spectacular that I don't care about the 12 degree windchill or how my camera actually freezes in weather like this. I think it's a curse to understand that life is what you make it. There are an overwhelming amount of options to consider. Why bother wasting even a second being unhappy when there are so many variables that can be switched up. I don't know. I am in a constant state of evaluation. Which at times leads me further into the land of milk and honey but at others reminds me that this journey is endless and I need to slow down and relax. It all makes me want to have green hair again. Bright, bright green hair. Usually it makes people smile when they see it, which is always a blast, and sometimes they laugh (mostly old people do that, lol) but hopefully it opens people up a little. It's a silly thing to do but it makes me happy. So how did I get from a beautiful sunrise to green hair? The hair thing has been on my mind for a while so I should probably just do it already :) Just do it, Rachel! Jeeez!

I'll post the sunrise pics later.
Have a great day!

Posing with the rainbow

I'm almost afraid to write poetry these days.  I feel so exposed in it.  My insides are so out.  Better to hide behind drawings for a while, I suppose.  I'm a bleeding mess of sap.  So much love and guts, I don't usually have this much anger but at the same time be so in love with everything.  Where's the fog gone?  This etheric shell seems slightly thinner yet still crystallizing the forms beyond it into scintillating objects of wonder. 

Roses in December + international graffiti

I mentioned a few posts ago that one of the most impressive things about France is the growing season.  Roses a week before Christmas, yippee!  So here is the picture of the roses growing right outside the Eiffel Tower fences plus some funny graffiti from London and another truly impressive perk courtesy of the Paris subway system:  you get TWO candy bars from the vending machine.  TWO!  Hell yeah.  It's like they knew I was coming and were trying to butter me up.

What a day this was...

She could barely breathe
Forehead to carpet
Unruly colors

Rachel Keep Calm

Please keep calm, Rachel.  Don't be a little kid and throw stuff and swear at electronic devices because then you will forget the water boiling on the stove and burn the house down.  Make your organic mac and cheese and then add the extra cheese like you do and eat it and remember to breathe.  Don't just shove it in your mouth, chew it slowly and relax your shoulders.  They look a little elevated.  I know it seems that nothing is quite working out today but at least that live chat you had with the AT&T representative was pleasant.  You didn't swear or lie or threaten her.  She was unable to tell you why you can receive text messages but not send them, but that isn't her fault.  It is also alright that you decided to download the updated version of software for your phone and sync it up to the computer just so the program could tell you that you already have the most current software.  That's ok.  Just relax.  I guess it's a little worrisome that your phone won't turn on now.  But at least you don't have to worry about not being able to reply to people's text messages. 

"Take the Crap out of Scrap"

My amazing friend Maureen just launched a scrapbook supply store called  The Scrapbook People and in an effort to market her new store she's made a blog.  I don't even scrapbook but I read her blog because it's so funny!  She is hilarious, that's all there is to it.  I read a bunch of hobbie related blogs, mostly for tips but none of them have the same infusion of personality that hers does.  Below is her latest post.  I love it!  So even if you don't scrapbook and especially if you do, check her blog out.  I just added it to my sidebar. 

Take the Guilt out of Scrapbooking (formerly known as “Take the Crap out of Scrap”) February 2, 2010

Do you ever wonder why you need to scrap EVERYTHING???  I do, all the time.  It’s this weird thing I have where if I don’t scrap it, I feel completely and utterly guilty!  Let’s say I take a walk and see the cutest little duck in a pond, I take a picture of that cute little duck and feel the need to scrapbook it (sound familiar?).  Why, I ask you, WHY?????  Don’t you think it’s time to take it down a notch?  I do…well, for myself anyway.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to scrap as much as the next guy.  Believe me, it’s a hobby that I am fervently into, so please don’t hate me for going off for a moment (the hormones aren’t helping either).  I’m really just trying to say that it’s ok to downsize, if nothing else but for your sanity.  My advice:  Stick to what you really feel is important and scrap it.  All else goes into a box (make sure it’s acid free and don’t forget to categorize it – you know, under “Fowl, Spring of 2004.”)  And if you have a rainy day, the house is clean, the kids are in school and your scrapbooking is up-to-date, by all means scrapbook the rest.  Take a deep breath.  Isn’t that better now?

Guilty

This video was made by the children and neices/nephews of two of my friends.  I see some future movie stars in the making.  They also made a very witty parody of the x-files called The Egg Files.  It's good!  So check them out if you get the time.  I know how much work goes into making a short film like that and it's very well done.  Great acting.  And they are youngsters doing creative things with their time, woohoo!!!  

late/early

There are many instances where I wish time was not popular.  Time.  The force of pressure.   I pretend time has no value.  Sleep will happen when the body is fatigued.  Eating will occur when the body is famished.  Electrical cues will notify the brain of its wants.  It's all a case of avoidance of the inner conditioning; this wish.  The lives we lead, even though we do not live in a communist society, are templated.  We choose the colors, the layout, the fonts.  How bold do we want to be?  As we travel outside the preset design and add changes, not remembering what will happen if we hit "reset to default," life becomes unstable.  This is a projection.  Projected fear of the unknown.  That's all there is to keep the template popular.  Drag and drop.  Customize at will, often.  What message does the body send then?  Expand or contract?